Imposter Syndrome

Grey workhorse trousers, (unblogged) blue stripe tailored shirt,  (unblogged?) minty green jumper

I wore this outfit on an evening out with colleagues recently. It wasn't a fancy evening out, just an 'office to pub' job. I got home late and had to take this mirror selfie before bed because I was surprised at how uncomfortable I felt.

I made all of it. It is, by definition, 100% completely and honestly me.

The fit is fine. Granted, the pockets in the trousers are falling apart, which is quite annoying. But there is nothing physically wrong with these projects.


But I don't recognise myself. I look so meek and generic - which is disappointing when women in my line of work generally have some stylistic freedoms.

These clothes reflect the most neutral and generic components of my wardrobe. As sewing projects they were supposed to help me blend in with the rest of the world. It's no accident that they look quite masculine. I made two of the 3 pieces within the last year.

I've made clothes to help me act like I belong in my workplace. I have identified what I need to impersonate to survive, and made my costume as needed. But now I don't know if I'm still impersonating, or if it's genuine.

How did I get here? Why have I done this? And how do I break this habit?